I was 37 years old and just considering the thought of Motherhood. My husband, Tyler, and I had long focused on our careers, travel, family and friends and quite frankly, were still nervous about the thought of becoming parents. My friends were always asking us when we were going to finally start trying and my Mother would jokingly say that she was going to start a group called "Adopt a Grandchild" since she had none. We saw how much joy our friends kids brought to them, and we loved spending time with them, so we finally decided it was now or never. We tried unsuccessfully for over a year before realizing we needed to seek help from a fertility specialist. I was already 38 and time was running out. It was humiliating to me that all my friends had kids and now that I wanted one I was having no luck. Month after month my heart would sink as the pregnancy tests were negative, and I started to become discouraged . As a cover up, I pretended to not care that I wasn't getting pregnant. My Mother had tried unsuccessfully to have kids for 5 years when she was in her late twenties before undergoing fertility treatment, and I was nervous that this, too, would happen to me. My best friend, Fran, sent me a book on infertility and I started reading it. I figured it was going to be a long road ahead.
I had heard wonderful things about Dr. Gary De Vane through acquaintances and other doctors and met with him in the Fall of 2005. As nervous and apprehensive as I was, I felt totally at ease with Dr. De Vane, as he has a very gentle bedside manner and a comforting way about him. He is also a brilliant doctor. After undergoing some routine testing, he found that I had a few issues to consider. Besides having a thyroid disorder, my hormones were very out of whack, as were my cholesterol levels and triglycerides. I then learned that I had inherited two "genetic defects" from both my parents called MTHFR which poses a problem with clotting and the inability to absorb folic acid. Should I become pregnant I would need to start Heparin shots to prevent a miscarriage. I would also need to take 4 times the amount of folic acid since my body was not able to retain it, and folic acid is so crucial to maintaining a healthy pregnancy. I remember that CRM sent me home with a purple folder with instructions for all of my tests and results which I followed religiously. I also inquired about the patient mentor program and CRM generously comp'd a lunch with a wonderful mentor they assigned to me. She and I hit it off ,and she would frequently send me encouraging emails and words of advice. She, too ,had gone through the process and wanted to be able to lend support to another person in her shoes.
I went in for my first artificial insemination in Jan. of 06 and was gently told by Dr. DeVane that this may take a few times. If all else fails, they were encouraging me to attend a seminar on IVF. I remember asking what my chances were that it would work and they said around 10 percent. The insemination was pretty simple, and I remember going home and thinking it wouldn't work. In fact, I had a scheduled surgery the very next week, and I was so sure it didn't work that I failed to mention to the doctor that I might be pregnant. When they asked the routine question, I said that I might be around 8 days pregnant but highly doubted it. Nonetheless, surgery was cancelled and I was sent home.
The next week, out of curiosity, I took a pregnancy test. It looked like a plus sign! That meant I would be just 12 days pregnant , and I immediately called my good friend and neighbor, Heather, to come over to take a look. She was practically jumping up and down with excitement and said it looked positive to her, but it was a little unclear. So, I ran to Tyler's Mother's house who also wasn't sure. I proceeded to ask just about anyone who was around including the guy at the nearby phone booth and my lawn man. I called Dr. DeVane's office and they told me to come in that day. They ran a test and they said I was "barely pregnant" and we would have to retest again in a couple of days to make sure it was a viable pregnancy. I was stunned! Ecstatic but shocked that it could have worked so quickly. When Tyler and I met Dr. DeVane in his office that day, he said he thought "this baby was meant to be" because the chances were very slim that I could have gotten pregnant so quickly with all of my issues. We immediately started the heparin shots and folic acid and we were on our way. Dr. DeVane's office sent us home with many congratulations and a small brown teddy bear with the words " where dreams are conceived."
I was referred by my OB to a wonderful high risk group who monitored my pregnancy very frequently. I had to go in every month for thyroid tests and ultrasounds and everything so far was going great. The big concern we had was would the baby be healthy since I had the genetic abnormalities to undoubtedly pass on. We would know more after the amniocentesis which wasn't until a little later in the pregnancy.
I had a tough first trimester with horrible nausea and vomiting and the heparin shots were not fun, although I quickly got used to those twice daily injections. Just as I was starting to feel better, I had a serious foot accident/ injury and ended up with an abscess in my foot. I was in the hospital for four days and two surgeries later, and my infectious disease doctor said I had almost lost my foot. I was on crutches and in a wheelchair for several weeks, and I kept worrying that the doses of strong antibiotics and the anesthesia from surgery would harm my baby. It seemed like nothing was going right for us.
However, my amnio went well and they said the baby looked healthy! I breezed through the rest of the pregnancy and was finally feeling the way so many women describe as having the boundless energy they have in that second trimester. I also had the most memorable baby shower I could have asked for. I was so emotional after everything I 'd been through, and I think I cried the entire time. My best friend read a poem all about my pregnancy and it was a tear jerker. I couldn't believe that my baby was almost here, and I would finally become a Mother. It seemed surreal to me.
Kelsey Lee Kurau was born Sept. 19th at Winnie Palmer Hospital. I had an easy delivery with no complications. The bond I shared with her was immediate ,and I had never known love like this before. I suffered a brief but difficult bout of PPD for a few weeks, but after the first couple of months things started to get easier. I suddenly couldn't imagine life without my precious baby. My Mom is so happy to finally have a grandchild that she recently bought a boat and named it "The Kelsey Lee." Now , Kelsey is 9 1/2 months old, and we are trying for another baby. I am almost 40 and back at CRM ,and although Dr. DeVane says I might not get so lucky this time, I am remaining optimistic that we will have another child. After all of this, I have realized that sometimes the things in life which are the most challenging are the things that give us the greatest joy. I love my child immensely, but I think I have an even stronger bond with her when I think back to everything I went through to have her. I now understand what my own Mother went through over 40 years ago as a pioneer in artificial insemination. I hope that my story gives others hope and encourages other women that their dreams, too, can come true.
By the way, I still have that purple packet in my desk drawer and Kelsey's room now prominently displays that same teddy bear which reminds me that miracles do happen.
Ashley Wright- Kurau
kelseycoo@earthlink.net
EarthLink Revolves Around You.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
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